All The (Crazy) Things I Did To Boost My Fertility

Categories:My Crazy Life

I’m 40… and pregnant! Disclaimer: I promise, this blog will not progress into one about babies and my pregnancy in a “typical” mom kind of way (I have round ligament pains! My baby ate creamed carrots today! No… that kind of talk will never, ever be happening here at The Witty Otter), but I will share some of the funny stories related to this human parasite living off my insides. Case in point, all the bizarre things I did to increase my fertility in hopes of getting knocked up (on purpose, by my husband).

Sick and Pregnant

Yea, I’m finally pregnant! Unfortunately, this is where I now spend most of my time.

My husband and I knew we wanted to start a family and, given my age, we realized there would be challenges with conceiving naturally. We gave ourselves a “get pregnant or see a doctor” deadline, and would you believe that we made it just under the wire?

Of course I used ovulation kits and tracked my cycle with an app on my phone, but I wasn’t going to rely on that alone. Never one to just sit around and wait for something to happen, I scoured the Internet, books and quizzed friends on ways to increase my fertility naturally. Nothing scared me, I was willing  to try it all. Here is what I did:

  1. Fertility hypnosis. They say the mind is a powerful tool so I decided to put mine to work and just tell myself I was fertile and could have a baby. Can’t hurt, right? When I looked into seeing a hypnotist I was shocked at the price and was not about to commit to a six-week treatment program at $300 an hour. So I did what many of us do, I turned to the Internet! A Google search will yield many results, I tried a few until I found one that I enjoyed. A few nights a week I would put in headphones and listen, I often was so relaxed that I fell asleep.
  2. Pre-Seed. There is no way around this, I can’t soften the description. Pre-Seed is fertility-friendly lubricant. My only regret is that when it was delivered via Amazon my husband felt the need to open the box in front of some of our friends, despite my dirty looks. It was a fun way to announce that we were trying to conceive, don’t you think?
  3. Evening Primrose Oil. This hidden gem can help increase cervical mucus (it can also help reduce PMS and inflammation). Like anything, TALK WITH YOUR DOCTOR before you start taking Evening Primrose Oil. I took it from day one of my menstrual cycle through ovulation.
  4. Cough syrup. Who knew Robitussin could help you make a baby? The theory with this one is that, like Evening Primrose Oil, it can help increase cervical mucus. It is important to note that you don’t buy a cough syrup with any decongestant as that can dry our your mucus. You can read a helpful article here that explains how it works, when to take it and recommended dosage.
  5. Gymnastics. This is more of an old wives tale that was recommended by my 100 year-old grandmother, but like everything else on this list, WHY NOT? After “knowing my husband in the biblical sense” I would put my feet up on our bed’s headboard for about 20 minutes to help with gravity. If all that Evening Primrose Oil and Robitussin weren’t doing the trick I hoped my elementary school knowledge of Physics would give us that extra boost.
  6. Berries. There is a lot of research out there claiming that certain foods can increase your fertility. Unfortunately for me most of those foods are not in my taste wheelhouse (whole milk, oysters and salmon – the one fish I don’t like). However, when I saw that berries were on the list I started eating them like it was my job!
  7. Scalar Energy Healing. THIS is the one, folks. This made a big difference for me because I could feel it. My psychic, Jusstine K, recommended this treatment and I know it helped. I won’t even begin to try and explain the process, just visit the website and read for yourself. After my healing was complete I had an almost physical breakthrough where I felt my body change. I have suffered from ovarian cysts and really, awful cycles all of my life and while doctors said it wasn’t necessarily a roadblock to fertility, it wasn’t doing me any favors either. Yet somehow a month after my healing I WAS PREGNANT! And it’s not just fertility, this is good for whatever ails you! Click here and sign up for a free 15-day trial (they don’t even pester you with emails when it’s done, I never received another electronic communication from them the day my healing was complete. And coming from someone who has been trying to get off the mailing list from an online puzzle shop since 2013, that is saying A LOT!). If I could point to anything on this list that I think you MUST do, this and #8 are it!
  8. Psychic Healing. As mentioned in #7, I have a wonderful psychic named Jusstine K and I think she is the bee’s knees. I met her when I was living in LA and have been seeing her since my mid-20s. She guides, she heals, she has given me so much peace over the years and I have wholeheartedly recommended her to many people, all of whom love her just as much as I do. In combination with my scalar energy healing Jusstine also did a healing for me where she removed some blockage she saw (without going into detail, she was spot on… something I had been holding onto that she released) and, as I mentioned above, a few short weeks later I got that “big fat positive” on my pregnancy test!

4 Comments

  1. Patricia
    March 16, 2016 at 9:07 pm

    Love this story and your blog!

  2. Toni
    ToniReply
    March 16, 2016 at 11:50 pm

    Love it and those Unknown powers are just awesome xxxx you have the luckiest baby in the world ……. will be an amazing mum 😘😘😘

  3. Stephanie
    StephanieReply
    May 10, 2016 at 4:00 am

    I don’t know how I just stumbled upon your blog or why I’m binge reading it at 7am like it may suddenly disappear from the internet. All I know is my 18 month old is running around the house in a shitty diaper and I simply can’t tear myself away. You are hilarious. PS please don’t call CPS. I assure you I’ll change him (in like 5 more minutes…)

  4. Kris
    KrisReply
    May 17, 2016 at 7:47 am

    Acupuncture – I was seeing an acupuncturist for seasonal allergies, even though she was recommended to me by a woman who saw her for fertility issues. I fully credit my kids’ existence to acupuncture on my Advanced Maternal Age (4o and 42 at deliveries) ass.

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