Why we need to leave Jennifer Aniston alone

It must be Groundhog Day in June, because today I woke up to news articles claiming that Jennifer Aniston is pregnant. Again! For more than a decade the media has put forth “Jennifer Aniston is pregnant” headlines, in one form or another. In reality that number is closer to 15+ years of this ongoing “story”…

All The (Crazy) Things I Did To Boost My Fertility

I’m 40… and pregnant! Disclaimer: I promise, this blog will not progress into one about babies and my pregnancy in a “typical” mom kind of way (I have round ligament pains! My baby ate creamed carrots today! No… that kind of talk will never, ever be happening here at The Witty Otter), but I will share some of…

It’s Fun To Play Pranks On Houseguests!

My husband and I have similarly evil minds. Not mean minds, just… well, evil. We like to joke and play pranks, especially on the overly trusting and gullible. It’s great because we are really good at it and play well off one another. Recently we convinced my mother that there would be a special “coming…

Holiday Crafting: D*ck In A Box Ken Dolls

I aspire to be crafty, and thanks to Pinterest and and the idiot-proof project kits I buy from Paper Source sometimes I get close. But a few years ago when my dad declared that all he wanted was a handmade gift for Christmas I was stumped. It was exactly like the episode of “Friends” where…

Conversations With My Husband: Garbage

When I leave town, if even for one night, I have to clean the house before I depart. Must. I am sure a therapist could launch a diatribe on how this stems from my anxiety or some sort of OCD but the simple reason I think I do this is because… I like my house…

How Do You Serve “Bowls of Cigarettes?”

Mary-Kate Olsen married Olivier Sarkozy last week. Okay, cool. I don’t have beef with the Olsen twins, I actually like the oversized sunglasses and venti Starbucks cup-look. And the fact that he is about 17 years her senior doesn’t phase me either. Or that most days she looks about 13 years-old and he resembles the driver of a…

Ghosts of Thanksgivings Past and Introducing Captain EO

It’s Thanksgiving week! More importantly (in my family), my amazing grandmother will be turning 100 years-young (really, at that age you can’t say “years-old” because it is just mean. It’s like elder abuse! She’s 100, that is old. We get it, she gets it. Let’s agree to just leave out “old” from the description, okay?!) … wow….